It happens every time Kimberley enters the salon. Other clients and my team mates all do it. They stop, become distracted by her, they listen in. You can see why they can’t help themselves; Kimberley is pretty damn entertaining. There hasn’t been so much as a fringe trim appointment where she hasn’t had me and anyone within earshot in stitches of laughter. Being comical is who she is. Are the onlookers drawn to more than that though? I wonder if they listen in for the jokes or because they can sense what’s special about her too?
Can they sense that she has something that we all want to obtain?
Kimberley is the kind of girl that people don’t just become friends with, but a girl people attempt to be like. The amount of times that she has been asked who does her hair is incredible! Far outweighing the attention most other clients receive...but is it really her hair cut and colour people are drawn too?
We are a society that quickly puts people up as ‘idols’ to follow. People we aspire to be like. We attempt to dress like them, act like them, look like them. We dub them a ‘celebrity’, and decide they are someone we need to be like or resemble to then feel good about ourselves.
Have you done that? Have you caught yourself wanting a celebrity’s figure? Their hair? Clothes? What about their attitude?
Have you ever stopped though to ask what caused these people to reach the position of ‘celebrity’ or ‘idol’ in the first place?
Did they do something amazing in their career, creating a breakthrough that has helped people worldwide? Are these the ones that get through and have others aspiring to be like them? To look like them? You might aspire to reach the same level of career success or skill level as someone in your profession, but do you want to look like them too? Not necessarily. Even unlikely.
What then is the one element that makes people admire another enough to want to be like them?
Consciously or unconsciously, it is the desire of every one of us. We put up on a pedestal those people that have it. Our gaze turns to them and passes over the people with no confidence, regardless of their achievements. Humanity is simply drawn to it.
As it is a raw, deep desire in every person to have confidence, we look to the ones presenting it, searching them for the answer. We follow them, somehow believing that what we can see must be how they found their confidence. Ironically, it is when we use our eyes that we become blind to the true answer.
We measure ourselves against their physical appearance and get depressed when we decide that we don’t match up. But is every person in the spotlight ‘perfect’ in their image? Ahh no. How can that be measured anyway? Do YOU know where it’s written all of the required physical ‘dimensions’ or colouring requirements to become ‘perfect’ in your appearance? I don’t. Even if there were rules to beauty, have you noticed how quickly it changes? What was found attractive in the human appearance 5 years ago no longer is. What a game to attempt to keep up with!
Without a doubt those in the spotlight are each attractive to someone (just as everyone is to someone). Attraction ideals aren’t the same across the board though. There is never one person that 100% of people find attractive. There are just some that gain a higher % of the population finding them attractive which then causes their popularity to grow.
Beyond their physical appearance, what’s been achieved, what actually makes them attractive is their confidence. They know themselves, and they own all the unique characteristics that make them them. It is their acceptance of themselves, their lack of pretence or trying to be something that they are not. The most physically beautiful person in the world wouldn’t attract people to them (or not for long!) if they had no confidence in themselves. While ego can be mistaken for confidence, the mask doesn’t last long.
Kimberley is someone who has mastered the art of confidence. She is what I affectionately call ‘the ultimate rebel’. Someone who has delved into the beautiful depths of her unique character and truly found herself. Someone who has learnt not only how to stand out from the pack, but to be comfortable when doing so. Someone who has connected to who she really is and has made no excuses for living that publicly.
In 15 years of hairdressing Kimberley has managed to be the only client that slips through not having all of my salon service steps (which, if you have met me you would know that isn’t an easy feat!) She refuses to have her hair washed and turns the consultation into what could be a skit as a stand up comedian. Even making an appointment is done humorously, many times having the lyrics to a song text through serenading me to please fit her in. Not playing the game of ‘normal’ human behaviour Kimberley does things her way. She isn’t rude about it, she doesn’t have an ego when doing it, she’s simply being her. She doesn’t apologise for that. She shouldn’t. She’s actually a complete joy to be around BECAUSE of it.
There’s so much noise in the world distracting us from tuning in to our own inner voice, (aka the REAL source of your confidence), do you know how to shut it out? Possibly not. After all, we live in a society that makes a lot of money off distracting you from doing exactly that.
We as humans think with such a physical mentality that we search the images of others for what we can purchase to have what they have...which in reality is our way of attempting to purchase confidence. We then become a society that is really easy to sell to because now there is a high emotion involved and you will continue your stream of purchasing thinking you just need something else now to reach the desire. We look at someone like Kimberley who is oozing with confidence and think ‘I’ll get her fringe, buy her clothes, attempt to be as quick witted as her (lol good luck there!) and I’ll be as amazing as her!’ We search the looks and behaviours of others continually to see what we can buy, borrow or take on ourselves.
...and we miss the point completely.
You can’t purchase it.
Her fringe on you won’t have the same effect.
Her clothing isn’t matching to the you inside of YOU!
What you want to take from someone like Kimberley is a LESSON, one found in her vibe, her peace, her knowing. She can’t take you there, just as following a celebrity won’t get you there.
You can’t put your hands on it. You can’t trade money for it.
YOU have to CREATE it.
How? Don’t you need money and loads of people adoring you to attain it? Isn’t it only for a handful of people? No. It actually doesn’t have to cost you a cent. It’s something that is for EVERYONE.
You have to spend time talking to the whisper inside of you. You have to value the end result enough to actually walk the journey.
It IS hard. It is by no means an easy journey. But it is one that’s completely worth it. You have to be determined. You have to become wise to the lies, become aware of the hurdles and push through the pain to get over them and continue on the way to your goal.
You have to remove the focus from trying to be someone else and instead realise the beauty within yourself. The most stunning person you can ever be is the person you were born to be.
Kimberley is who she is. No one can take that from her. It’s not a physical thing that can be stolen or lost, she is simply happy with who she is. No one else’s opinions of her will crush her because she understands that her opinion of her is the one that matters. She is confident because she is totally in tune with the girl she was created to be. She found it, grabbed onto it, and refused to let it go for anyone or anything.
How did Kimberley learn this lesson so easily? I can’t answer that. I have no idea if it was easy for her, if it came naturally, if she fought hard to find her confidence or if perhaps her hurdles are still ahead of her. I do know that we all face different challenges in our lives and that only when we get caught up in comparisons do we decide that is unfair. Perhaps while Kimberley has found herself she is struggling in an area that you have never struggled with. The point isn’t to get upset that others have done it well while you haven’t (yet), the point is to take what inspiration you can from them to grow, while putting your light out into the world too! How do you know that she doesn’t need to learn something from you?
During this project we’ve pulled confidence apart in so many directions, displaying to you just how unique it is to each person. Showing you the variety of angles and work that goes into obtaining it. The point in sharing Kimberley’s story is to give you a goal: to chase her VIBE: To be a rebel and ignore what the world is doing...but also ignore what Kimberley is doing. Shut out ALL of the noise and listen to your own voice. If it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, it might take a while for it to come back. Don’t quit, press in more! Ask to be shown what is clouding you from hearing it. Ask to be aware when there is something within you that needs to be removed. Fight. Fight. And then fight some more. You are worth developing REAL confidence and displaying it for the world to see!
Kimberley I know you have no idea why you were picked for this. I can even picture you reading this now and almost shrugging it off as not being a big deal, that you’ve done nothing special, that you were just being you. That’s exactly the point! It comes easily because you tuned into YOU and now that’s simply your life playing out. Thank you for so effortlessly living and breathing something we all must conquer, and all do with different degrees of difficulty in the process. The simplicity of how you live your character NOW is a goal that we can all strive to live. Thank you for being so humble, so set on just being you that you haven’t built an ego around yourself, you’ve simply enjoyed being Kimberley (and unknowingly inspired a lot of people in the process).
All For Mary - Creative Director
Take a look at all of Kimberley's images here.
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